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On this page I wanted to collect snippets of emotional support, words of wisdom or other things that have inspired me or given me a lift when I needed it.
I was told that I needed to ‘grieve’ after the diagnosis, but it didn’t work that way for me. I’ve spoken since to other parents – some did grieve, some didn’t feel that described their experience. I travelled through fear, denial, panic, anxiety, guilt, feeling misunderstood, isolated and many other ‘states’ of being that are also part of the grief cycle, but the label 'grief' or 'mourning' didnt fit or feel right for me.
The journey continues, there isn’t a finish line - we reach ‘staging posts’ of acceptance, one inch at a time, and adjust to each stage as we go along. – I suppose what I want to get across is that how you feel is how you feel – better to recognise and allow the feelings that you have, than worry about not feeling how you are ‘supposed’ to, or when you are 'supposed' to. It's really important to make allowances for the fact that you, your partner, your parents and friends, will all experience different feelings about autism, and travel at different paces. Try to be kind and accepting of yourselves and each other, especially in the early days – give each other the emotional space and freedom to feel what you feel without judgement or expectation. Easier said than done, I know!
One of the first pieces you are likely to read is ‘Welcome to Holland’ – this is written by a parent of a disabled child and is great the first time you read it - but then it crops up everywhere with alarming regularity until in the end you may find yourself gritting your teeth when you see it! This is a shame, because it’s a great piece of writing for the early days, so…..if you havn’t already read it, here’s a link! - www.creativeparents.com/Holland.html .
A great book to keep in the loo (or the coffee table if you’d rather!) is ‘Changed by a child’ by Barbara Gill. It’s a book for any parent of a disabled child and covers a myriad of different subjects all in one-two page excerpts, so really easy to pick up and put down when you don’t have much time. There wasn’t really an emotion or thought that I had that I couldn’t find some inspiration or comfort about in these pages. Great for the spirit!
This is a lovely video about kids and education, it’s only 4 minutes long – is very uplifting, and applies to any child. It is also quite ‘healing’ for people who felt misunderstood at school, or that they didn’t achieve well at school. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVxT4XO0ZuY&eurl=
There are a percentage of children who have symptoms that are massively improved by changes to diet or supplementation, or through different therapeutic or educational approaches. There are also a small percentage of children reported who appear to ‘recover’ from the triad of impairments. No one knows why yet, but lots of people are working on it. The 'magic ingredients' seem to be a mix of intensive therapy along with dietary and/or bio-medical intervention. While you need to approach any anecdotal claims with caution, you could be lucky like we have been, and your child may well improve dramatically with a few simple changes to diet. There are some great inspirational stories on the following site: www.treatingautism.com/
I plan to keep adding to this section, and if you have found inspiration, strength or comfort from somewhere, please get in touch and let me know so I can share it with others.
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